Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Isolation

Before I begin, I must say that this was the most difficult post I’ve ever written. I am placing my innards (ok, that’s gross, but for lack of a better word . . .) out there for the whole cyber world to see. And I don’t even let my friends see this part of me. Let me preface with this:


Today I read Elana Johnson’s What I Believe list. You need to go visit her blog. It is awesomesauce (that would be her word). Number six on her list hit me rather hard. You see, although I believe her, I have been struggling with this actual thing. Okay. Here goes.


Many writers not only want people to read and enjoy their stories, they want to make a difference with their writing. I know I feel that way.

Something I read this week in Ally Condie’s book, Matched, made an impact on me. (If you haven’t read it, go out and get it now, ‘cause it is amazing.)

When I read the part in Cassia's story about the poem her grandfather gave to her, I was very moved. There were two parts that specifically spoke to me. "Nothing I have written or done has made any difference in this world, and suddenly I know what it means to rage, and to crave." And, "Over and over I think do not go gentle, do not go gentle, do not go gentle."

I hope you don't mind that I explain a little why this meant so much to me.

I have been in a very dark place where my writing is concerned. I feel utterly and abysmally isolated and alone to the point of being consumed with it. How can I get any better if I have no critique group or support group to help me? No one to talk to about it or share my writing with. And everything I try seems to peter out.

If my Father in Heaven had not told me on several occasions that I needed to write, and chastised me when I wasn't, I would have thrown in the keyboard a long time ago. But alas, I cannot ignore his prompting. It has been dismally discouraging and these words spoke to me in a very inspiring way. I still feel discouraged and alone, and I do not know what the solution is or what the future may bring for me or my stories, but I cannot go gentle. I must rage so that one day my words may make a difference.

*whew* Thanks for listening.

20 comments:

  1. I could have written that post! I know I am supposed to write but isolation inspite of what some say is not condusive to a writers soul. It's hard to be alo9ne when you need advice or just to share how awesome that sentence you just wrote is. If I still lived by you I'd be your writing buddy. :)

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  2. Wow. That was very powerful and very beautiful, Shari. It takes a lot of courage to bare your soul like that, but it's also really liberating, don't you think?

    And girl, for as long as you are willing to rage against failure, I will be here cheering you on!

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  3. Your words have already made a difference, Shari. They just did for me.

    Thank you for opening up--for sharing this very difficult post because you're not alone. I'm proud of you. For hanging in there and for not going gentle.

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  4. Shari, when we have promptings, then they are often followed by doubts. Just understand where those doubts are coming from. Don't give up!

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  5. Beautiful! It takes courage to take that step into the darkness. You are a woman of great faith.

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  6. Shari you know you are always welcome and wanted in our critique group! That said, I think we've all felt this way at one time or another..just keep writing! It's all we can do! Hugs!

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  7. Beautifully written. I love seeing you grow as a writer and a person. There are times when we do not go gentle and it is time to rage. I LOVE it! You will succeed and I am always here for you.

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  8. Your post meant so much to me. Thank you for sharing and, as you can read in these comments, you are not alone. I think we all wonder if we will make it, if we can make a difference to our future readers. Don't quit, we are with you.

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  9. *HUGS*

    You are courageous indeed, Shari.

    I, too, don't have a critique group and I'm sorry about Scrawl. I know that I can find others and form a strong group, but every time I do, I'm filled with the sensation of drowning. Yes, isn't that strange?

    I stat to panic and I don't dive in.

    I feel that a single, strong partner is what I need. I need someone to bounce ideas off of. To turn to for the need of advice and encouragement and a shoulder. MY sister used to be that, but she's busy with her little family and can't.

    I know how you feel. Yes, writing is very isolating. Very.

    Would you turn me away if I reached out to you?

    I'll keep you in my prayers.

    ~Elizabeth :)

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  10. This was a powerful and touching post, Shari. As long as you are a part of this blogging community, you will never be alone in your writing. We are all here for you, and we understand the roller coaster ride of this journey. Hang in there. (((hugs)))

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  11. Shari,

    I love you.

    I'll be talking to you soon.

    Kristi

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  12. You are not alone, Shari! Though, I think most of us go through times when we feel that way. I know I have (and do) anyway. You are a wonderful person, and so well loved. We can't wait to see you this Saturday! *hugs*

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  13. Love to you, my friend. You know I understand your isolation and sorrow. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you more. (((hugs))) Thank you for opening up. You're giving me the courage to do the same.

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  14. Oh, Shari! I had no idea! If you ever want to share anything - ideas or writing, please call or drop me an email.

    Hugs,
    Jewel

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  15. I feel you and know absolutely where you're coming from.

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  16. Hi Shari, I tried to email this to you, but my stupid google friend connect wasn't working right.

    I don't have a critique partner either, and I'd love to read your stuff.

    Email me if you're interested: iwritethusiam@yahoo.com

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  17. I feel the same way at times Shari. I think that's what makes a successful piece all worth it. At least I hope. ((hugs))

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  18. What a wonderful post. I know it was hard for you to share such private feelings. Please know that you're not alone on some of these thoughts. I think all writers have doubts about what they're writing and if their writing is up to the task.

    You certainly are up to the task! Hang in there.

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  19. I'm proud of you for baring your soul here!

    I, too, have been told by Heavenly Father that I am supposed to write. In fact, one day in an answer to some very specific prayers regarding how to use my time once my youngest was in school, I was led to D&C 25 where it says, "Your time shall be given to writing, and to learning much." I often feel guided in what I write, and I certainly learn much in the process.

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