Before I begin, I must say that this was the most difficult post I’ve ever written. I am placing my innards (ok, that’s gross, but for lack of a better word . . .) out there for the whole cyber world to see. And I don’t even let my friends see this part of me. Let me preface with this:
Today I read Elana Johnson’s What I Believe list. You need to go visit her blog. It is awesomesauce (that would be her word). Number six on her list hit me rather hard. You see, although I believe her, I have been struggling with this actual thing. Okay. Here goes.
Many writers not only want people to read and enjoy their stories, they want to make a difference with their writing. I know I feel that way.
Something I read this week in Ally Condie’s book, Matched, made an impact on me. (If you haven’t read it, go out and get it now, ‘cause it is amazing.)
When I read the part in Cassia's story about the poem her grandfather gave to her, I was very moved. There were two parts that specifically spoke to me. "Nothing I have written or done has made any difference in this world, and suddenly I know what it means to rage, and to crave." And, "Over and over I think do not go gentle, do not go gentle, do not go gentle."
I hope you don't mind that I explain a little why this meant so much to me.
I have been in a very dark place where my writing is concerned. I feel utterly and abysmally isolated and alone to the point of being consumed with it. How can I get any better if I have no critique group or support group to help me? No one to talk to about it or share my writing with. And everything I try seems to peter out.
If my Father in Heaven had not told me on several occasions that I needed to write, and chastised me when I wasn't, I would have thrown in the keyboard a long time ago. But alas, I cannot ignore his prompting. It has been dismally discouraging and these words spoke to me in a very inspiring way. I still feel discouraged and alone, and I do not know what the solution is or what the future may bring for me or my stories, but I cannot go gentle. I must rage so that one day my words may make a difference.
*whew* Thanks for listening.